There are a lot of things you shouldn't do when you're pregnant. You shouldn't drink coffee or eat too much seafood. You shouldn't touch pesticides or breathe too much air freshener. You should avoid gas stations and wash your hands thoroughly after gardening. And the lunchmeat, people. For the love of god, don't forget to microwave your lunchmeat.
This should not come as much of a surprise to anyone who has been pregnant (although my mother confesses that when she was pregnant with my sister, the only thing her doctor told her to do was "take it easy" on the alcohol. My how times have changed). However, there are some things a pregnant woman shouldn't do that won't be found on any internet page or in any pregnancy book.
For example, one should not watch Little Women while pregnant. Nobody warned me of the uncontrollable, hysterical sobbing that would occur when Beth died, causing my husband to come running to the bedroom to figure out what was wrong. I was completely inconsolable for a good 10 minutes, causing my husband and myself to both wonder if I had indeed lost my mind. In fact, it would appear that pregnant women should avoid television alltogether, lest one put herself at risk of instant waterworks at the first sappy Hallmark commerical.
A pregnant woman should also not plan on having a life, at least in the first trimester (I'll get back to you on the other two trimesters). Being nearly at week 5, I happily confess that the only real symptom of pregnancy that I've experienced thus far is fatigue. But the fatigue has hit fast and hard, causing the most trivial task to feel like a marathon event. This week, I have done little that has not involved the couch and the television (exposing me to the aforementioned risk of emotional instability at the hands of the Lifetime channel). I went to the grocery store yesterday and returned so utterly exhausted that I spent the next 45 minutes prone on my back, listlessly watching my husband play some sort of Wii baseball-type thingie. And although the classic nausea has not yet reared its ugly head, I have been assured that twins typically bring twice the morning sickness, and I should plan on spending a significant amount of quality time with the toilet bowel around weeks 6 through 12 (one week left 'till that gem of a symptom starts). If my life was minimal this week, it will be nonexistant shortly. Awesome.
It is also important that pregnant women avoid board games at all costs, especially if they are poor losers with a history of tantrums involving "Chutes and Ladders." I am not exactly a good sport when it comes to board games, but the emotional rollercoaster of pregnancy has removed any patience and good nature I might have had left when it comes to these types of activities. I have been banned from all board games in our house. It's probably for the best.
Other than that, week 4 has been nice. Full of napping and fruit and putting my feet up. I am continuously grateful that I don't have a 9-5-type office job, where my weeks would probably be spent in a state of utter exhaustion with no respite save a lunch-hour nap. To be honest, I have no idea how women do this with jobs and - god forbid - other young children to manage.
Indeed, my hat goes off to them.
Fortunately, my situation is different, and I can rest when and for as long as I want.
People have asked me, are you fatigued at all?
And to them I have replied, well, not really, because I'm sleeping all the time.
It's a good thing :-)
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