Zofran to the Rescue!

[Editor's note: The formatting of this blog has gone to shit. This is the second post in a row that has presented itself online as a single run-on sentence. Because I'm pregnant and stabby, I'm saying "F this shit" and letting it stand as is. Your welcome (somebody make me a sandwich)] Now, I was warned that twins can cause twice the morning sickness. And I was fully prepared to spend a bit of time worshiping the porcelain god. However, what I was NOT prepared for was unrelenting nausea 24 hours a day, 7 days a week such that working or even sitting up for more than 5 minutes was a near-impossible feat. Dear kids I know we haven't formally met yet, but I wanted to state for the record that as soon as you're born, you are grounded for making mommy so sick she lost 5 lbs in 4 days. Seriously, I was on the verge of tears last night when I realized that I had spent the last few days either in bed or on the couch, and that work was piling up, and that I had committed to a job in Dallas on Friday which I might have to cancel, causing my client to surely FLIP THEIR SHIT and never hire me again. I mean, I now kids can do a lot of damage, but I never thought they'd get me fired before they were even born! So I dragged (literally...dragged) myself in to the doctor's office this morning feeling (and looking) like death warmed over. The nurse took one look at me and had the office APN send over a prescription for Zofran faster than you can say "where is the restroom, I'm gonna be sick". The minute the pharmacist handed over the bag, I had a tablet under my tongue, and by god, if I didn't feel about 80% better by the time I had gotten home. It's like a miracle! I'm sitting here, NOT dying and NOT feeling like I'm about to throw up! I feel like I'm running through a field of poppies or some shit. Amazing. So to the makers of Zofran, I'd like to say that I love you and I'll be sending you a muffin basket. And to my future children, I'd like to say....nothing. Because they're on a serious time out.